Empty Pieces

I have to admit...

I didn't like what has been going on around me now..

Doesn't mean I'm not gratefull that I'm still alive and have dollars wif me...(˘_˘")

I'm just..sigh~

There's a part of me still missing..
The cravingness of having own life..

I love pictures
I love music
I love entertainment

Sounds broad..
Sometimes I cried of myself..
Cried of what I've become..
Cried of what I haven't do

I miss myself..
I want create my own life..
The life I wish since I was kid

Life unexpected..
Yeah yeah..tell me about it (˘_˘")

Few things my brother said was true..I know its true..
But what can I do?

I might do something different if god take them from me..
Till then..I'm too fragile in letting resposible go..
Eventhou I hate having it..

Wish everything will change..
Will be on my side..for good..


Xoxo


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Eyes of Legs

Poligami..

Hmm..islam did note out in al-quran about that

And firmly advise about guys have to be affirmatively eligible to divide love,attention,money,responsible

As for me...
Here's the statement I'll say on my wedding day..
"Sy xmengharamkan poligami,tetapi sy berhak utk tidak menjadi salah seorg ahlinya,allah tidak kejam pada wanita,manusia tidak berhak memaksa manusia lain menggunakan agama..sy mahu kebebasan agar sy dpt seorg insan baru sebagai suami baru.."

Sounds terrible isn't it?haha..

I'm just saying the truth..I don't wana hurt anyone..and I don't wana be hurt..I have the rite to choose..marriage just not the end of a woman's life..

So just let me go..

This is me..I have eyes on my legs..
I tend to jump of the hook rather than keepin faith so the hook won't hurt me much..

I'm not that strong
Not that believe I will either...


Its shock me a bit when my BFF said that she'll be fine if one day she's gonna have 'madu'

(˘_˘") I just doubt that coz she is an attention seeker...even now she complain how he's treatin her..

And plus..she still misses a guy from her past...

Life's cruel..
Truth's hurt too..


Bouncing tails..

Xoxo

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Written

Its another daddy's home weekend..

Nothing speacial just I spend my MARA on everitin to make everyone in the house happy..

I'm happy doing it..

Slightly was there a sign that I've expected long time ago but didn't realize it happen too soon when the weekend ends..

3rd May 2012..

It was early morning as I've woke up by my mom usual 'trademark knock' haha..
I didn't expect any worse just her usual rambling of pray and morning person attitude..

But soon its quite long than usual..

She knock my brother's room..

Its unusual..


I'd scattered out my foot of the bed ran towards the door..as soon the door's opened I saw mama'a tears running rain down her cheek with her android on her hands..its still engage..with MY DAD

'He's married to that BITCH,and I'm going to have my talaq'

My heart sank..heavy and destroyed as the TITANIC was..

Everything scattered,tremble,drain in such a pathetic illusion..soon at 7.45 we arrived in Kota Tinggi,Johor..

Wasn't a pleasant scene to remember but nevertheless a reminder for the 3of us..me,along n of course mama..

My dad verbally 'lepaskn dikau dengan TALAK 1'...after a small quarrel ceremony..thank God

But as a daughter..I've hurt my father..I'm sorry dad..its maybe the time that u realize,ure baby girl now is a woman who have heart and open minded eyes..

Its written..my parents officially separate..soon she's going to filed it in court..legally..

I am sad..disappointed with my dad..pity my mom for all the love and hope she put her trust to him..in the end..its all nothing..

He doesn't appreciate her as how he should be 25years ago...

He's happy wif his new wife and future unborn baby..good for him

In other hand..me and along will struggle hard to make sure mama's gona make it through with her new status 'WIDOWED'

Ya allah..if u really the FairNess of All..
I beg for ur mercy..give the love mama should have..repay my dad for all the hurt he cause to much for her..please..she's suffered enough..




Xoxo



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The Weeks Of Heaven

Anyway as I've mention previous blog...my convocation day has arrived...and I'm proud to be one..the dip holder now..haha

2weeks in a row I've been to kL for my convocation and vacation..hee..as usual..he's wif me all the time,all the place,high and low..

Eventhou its just in kL but these 2weeks really make me feel brand new..
I'm change a bit now..
What I've change to?..
Another 19days to figure out here..


(ˆ⌣ˆ)♉


He's doin his best to be with me..and I can say its worthwhile..coz I do appreciate his effort..
The seminar of New Zealand opened up our mind for new life there..but there's one problem..

MONEY for PR COST

Still have to figure it out later..but then wish could meet Ian again on consultation soon..


Till then...

Indonesia..Medan,Dumai,Jakarta..

WAIT FOR US!!


Me On The Go

Xoxo

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The Beautifull of Ijab n Qabul

Clearly my subject were definition to a marriage ceremony... (˘_˘")

But what I'm really wana talk about is how many out there didn't really understand about ijab n kabul,the rules of marriage and sometimes misunderstood the benefits from it..

Especially when we read newspaper headlines today..marriage abuses,child abuses,syariah cases,nusyuz,taqliq and all..
The mistakes came form us,human of course..reason = too ego to accept self lack of perfection

I have different of experiences heard around my relatives lately..
As my parents..they didn't go well thou..so..out of the hook here..
2 of my aunt are married to mualaf..unc heins originally swiss,and unc brian were portugese..they both are such a wonderfull husband I ever met..they treat my aunts well..much2 better than malay guys..this is true..and fact that I've saw with my naked eyes..

I didn't prejudice malay thoughts of marriage..but I do somtimes sadly regret to man who become overpower with the status of husband..but then he can be toleranted and understandable..2 things that make a marriage happily ever after and last till death..

Unc brian n unc heinz when comes to religion..their practice on islam is more deeper than we are today who was born as 'muslim' ...sad huh? (˘_˘")

Wish my marriage will be as happy as my aunts have..

I don't wana b like my parents..I'm really hope there someone out there full of love come and rescue my mom's heart

But best yet and fact...we all bound to this custom..so don't be ridiculos of the HAK and HAKIKI..


Think OutSide The Box

XOXO



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Miracle Has It

Remember when our parents,teachers,frens,grandparents thought us since kid about faith and miracle?..

I used to hold on that until few years back that have change my life a lot..I'm kinda lose faith..lose the appetite for life..the craziness to look good..feel good about myself..

Wonder where its gone..

Until I've finished my study,settle up my practical exam with the very absurb attitude of mine..

Yet when the result came out..
3.06
(ˆ⌣ˆ)♉
Kinda bit suprise that everitin I wish for has been approved by God..

Later I've been entitle for graduation in 14th april 2012..while the rest of my fren were out of list?..

The question marks continues since I still have few thing regarding mara which didn't settle up yet..just soon I went to college last few days to pay up convocation fees..

Everitin went smoothly..

Alhamdulillah..

Ill be graduating this april 2012...

My moms birthday month..hehe

Yet I believe..
Miracle has It own ways..
So friend..don't doubt..rejoice ur faith..and Allah will lead the way


Syukur
Xoxo



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The Secret Plot

My status in BBM seem become the topic of quarrel now..

But what I don't understand is why pick up my frens to be the target to spill out all my weakness,my fault and everitin?

Why u have to show to them that u have a bunch of thins that u hate about me

But still bein with me
In bed with me
Financially shared with me

Why?!

Am I too hideous to be with u?
Or u just can't handle me anymore?


Then keep assuming things until I kept my mouth shut

Then called me to say I'm sorry,I'm doin that just for u to be better and all

Ure not that angel to me
U treat me wrong twice..

Its up to u..
I don't want to bother anymore..


Xoxo


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